


the truth comes out a little at a time

by charjace



Series: Screams Falling On Deaf Ears [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: & his mother's mental health & sucidal thoughts., Idk really what to tag that is but it does reference the first fanfic & jace's &, M/M, Slow Build, Suicidal (Or Past Refernce???)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 05:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14513328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: after a few months, jace can place that feeling





	the truth comes out a little at a time

He was leaning against one the boat that laid in the boat shed, eyes not looking over the other male. He didn’t know what to do or say? Everything that had happened that night, how does he know what was real and what wasn’t? It’s been two days since then. What, with Max’s ceremony and trying to convince Maryse to not go back to Idris. She may have done some harsh things, but no one deserves to be tossed aside when they aren’t wanted, or maybe that is just how he feels about it, what with the experience he has had. 

The thing is he remembers the things he heard from Maryse, how she didn’t want him and how she should have killed him the moment he was put on her door step. Remembers how when he went to go talk to Simon, how he had told him that he should’ve just left him at the bridge. Sure, now he knows that what they said wasn’t truly what fell out of their mouths, he can’t help but feel guilty for even thinking that they would say that.

Simon hasn’t made a move to get closer to him, and he appreciates that. “What I heard you say that night... it was how yo-,”

“Simon!” Clary’s voice calls out, as the door to the boat house opens and in walks the redhead. Jace can hear the little sadness to Clary’s voice, and he notices that Simon does too.

“Clary? What’s going on?” Simon asks, worry in his voice evident.

“Maia... she heard about the soul sword. She’s torn between me and her pack. I underst- AHHHH!” Clary screams out and her hand starts to blacken in front of them, causing the pair to exchange a look before rushing to Clary’s side.

It was him that went and took her to the best warlock that they knew, Magnus. Simon wanted to come, but it was hard to when the sun was up, and both of them wouldn’t risk his life for hers. But, by nightfall, they were looking for Valentine so Clary is able to finish her blood oath.

And then, the next few days happen in a  _blur_. He’s no longer a Morgenstern, he’s an  _orphan_  again. Clary is trying to sort things out with Maia. He can’t find Isabelle anywhere and her room is off limits, and Alec, he says he’s with Magnus. So, he finds himself at Hunter’s Moon but is hurriedly pushed out the door before he can full step in. He doesn’t understand.

Before him stood Simon,  _Simon Lewis_  the vampire was standing in front of him. The reason it shocked him was that it was  _daytime_.

“What are you doing walking into a bar full of downworlders?” Simon asks, and was that worry in his voice. 

“I could ask you the same thing? Why are you in a bar in the  _day?”_ Jace replies, hitching an eyebrow and watching as a sheepish smile spread across Simon’s lips and why does that make Jace feel something inside? What  _does_ he feel inside, he isn’t sure.

“I... I don’t know. It’s like, how did I survive the soul sword? I...” Simon stutters out, and Jace finds a ghost of a smile creeping upon his face as he looks over Simon.

This boy, a ray of sunshine who had been condemned to a life without ever seeing a part of him but is now standing in it. Standing in the rays that the sun produces. He almost, dare he say it; like an angel. and  _god_ when did he start thinking like that. He doesn’t know, maybe it’s been the past week or two when Simon’s helped him out.

Jace can’t put a finger to it until a few months have gone by and Sebastian is dead, and he’s been taken by the Seelie Queen. Her knights ambushed him, knocking him out with some kind of powder and he’s waking up in the Realm of the Fae. The next time he saw himself in this place, he saw himself being lead to his death (he’s killed many innocent seelie’s “ _It’s not your fault Jace. Valentine **tricked** you” Simon’s voice tells him, like he did when he voiced this to the male vampire)._

But instead he is tied to a table, with the Queen in an older version of herself at the other end. A smirk spread across her lips as she looked at him. “Well Jace Herondale, this is a  _surprise_.”

Hitching an eyebrow at the Queen in response, what does she even mean by that? She was the one who brought him down here, was she not? “If you want to kill me, just hurry up and do it. Don’t drag it out.”

“You don’t even know how you feel, not that I’m surprised by that, you Shadowhunter’s hate those things. Meliorn, take him to the Wonder Woods until our guest arrives,” The queen says with a light hand movement, and the rest of the guards leave and Meliorn takes hold of his arms before he is being dragged out to what he supposes is the Wonder Woods.

He was shoved lightly as Meliorn let go of him, and when he looked back, all he saw was woods. Everything he could see was  _woods_. Oh god, this was how he was going to die, in these woods of the Seelie Realm. He hopes that it doesn’t effect Alec too much, him dying. That it’s quick and painless, he doesn’t want his parabatai to go through so much pain because of him.

Because Alec needs to focus on stopping Valentine, along with Clary and Izzy. He hopes that Alec and Magnus can forgive each other in time, Magnus’ had made Alec happier, and Jace felt it.

How long has he been here, just sitting against a tree thinking about his family? Oh god, what about Simon? They were suppose to meet up and talk, the only reason that he wasn’t called on for duty. Simon for the past few months has been helping him with everything, and Alec understands that (even if Jace knows that it hurts him a bit - he can see it in his brother’s eyes). Imogen had told him of Celine, his mother’s mental health - and everyone says that they’re just happy that Jace is talking with  _someone_  about it, even if they don’t understand why it’s Simon.

The thing is, Jace doesn’t understand it either. Maybe it was because of that night, when Simon had pulled him off from the edge of the bridge. Or when Simon came over because Jace had asked. All he does understand is that he feels safe telling Simon somethings that he can’t tell Alec, just yet.

“Jace!” He hears Luke’s voice call out, and he wonder’s why in the hell would Luke come looking for him?

“Luke?” Jace questions, and a few seconds later the man in question is standing in front of him, and is that relief flooding through the older man’s body.

“Oh thank god you’re okay,” He says, pulling Jace into a hug.

Jace can feel that Luke means it, that he means that he is happy to see Jace alive, that he means the hug he is giving him right now. He feels like he is on the verge of tears right now, but why?

“Simon was so worried about you. Tears pouring out his eyes worried,” Luke informs him as he pulls away, hands holding onto Jace’s shoulder’s.

“Why would he be  _that_  worried?” The question falling past his lips, because sure he thought that Simon would worry, but to the point of crying.

Luke gives a small shake of his head, like the answer was so obvious. “Because Jace, he told me he literally pulled you off a bridge. And with how your mother died, he thought you had...”

“Killed myself? Not yet.” Luke gave a hard glare at Jace, causing the younger to look at the ground, so that was a pour choice of words to use but if he was left to rot in these woods, he probably would have gone on his terms, not the Queen’s. “I’m sorry, bad word choice.”

“Very much. You don’t know why Simon is helping you do you? The story behind it?” Luke questions, eyes looking over Jace, who shakes his head.

“No, when we  _do_  talk about this kind of stuff, it’s just him listening to me and asking me questions,” Jace replies, giving a small shrug of his shoulders.

“Maybe next time, ask him. Or even whenever you want too,” Luke tells him, and he gives a little nod of his head.

“Luke! Jace!” Simon’s voice calls out, and Jace doesn’t know why but he runs up to Simon and engulfs him into a hug.

When Simon hugs him back, so tightly he feels like Simon might crush him to death he thinks he understands his feelings for Simon. Understands why Simon makes  him smile when others can’t, understands why he feels guilty every time he makes him upset without meaning too. It’s because he  _loves_  Simon. He loves Simon and it scares him, and he doesn’t know what to do with these new found feelings of his. Maybe when he, Luke and Simon get out of here, he’ll talk with Alec or Magnus, or Isabelle or Clary or anyone but Simon because he also fears that this might be the one thing that will push the vampire away from him.

So, when they exit the Seelie Realm, he heads to the Institute to think things over and figure out who he should go to.

**Author's Note:**

> for the next part who do you think jace should go to? and what should clary's wish be, because she didn't need to bring back anyone from the dead?
> 
> and did i title this song after miranda lambert's 'white liar' bc the lyric fit (not the song but the line does)


End file.
